I did it!

For the first time, I played piano in front of an audience larger than one!

For the last week I’d been planning to give the open mic a try just to get over this my fear of playing in public, but then I had a very disappointing piano lesson today. A piece I thought I could do reasonably well just fell completely apart. We talked about how I always learn the notes really fast but then slow down in progressing beyond that, and that my progress is “ooookay”. I was so disappointed with myself I was almost crying. I was upset about disappointing my teacher. I felt soooo small and suddenly the open mic seemed like a really bad idea.

And then I realised that I can either attack it head on, or feel like a coward for the next four weeks till I have a chance at the open mic again. So I went, I played two pieces even though after the first one my hands were shaking really badly. It was a small audience, but very supportive, and I played through, with some minor mistakes no one seemed to notice. I am so proud I didn’t stop for any mistakes, I didn’t slow down or speed up, I survived! People said they didn’t notice any mistakes and I know there were a few, but it’s amazing how i can play through them if I know I have to.

I’m still grinning. And I’m so proud that I went and did it.

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